28 Jun 06 – Sonia

My dearest Agha,

Past has exactly brought me right where I was three 2 four years ago. It is

unbelievable. It is as if my life has been going backwards without my

control. The awakening letter that I had written you and that biography has

become a big problem for me. My arm and leg positions have been readjusted.

The right arm has moved to left and strength of right leg has moved to left

also because I used to use my left leg and but not my right arm. Whenever I

read Quran the voice tells me that “will they still not seek admonition?”.

The reason I did not marry Sonia has brought me right exactly where I was

before. This has just no end. Who has to apologize to who and who need and

should seek forgiveness. The so called Miriam girl that I met had thrown

Quran on the floor and she does not believe in God. Now that I think of the

past it would have been so much better if I had not listen to your warnings

to marry Sonia because not only that she was a muslim but entirely my own. I

keep hearing another voice in my head sometimes your father and sometimes

Hazrat Ali’s telling me that if you go to a disbeliever bachay dekho in the

hereafter tumhara kiya hashar karte hein. The torpedo is here. It seems as

if everything in the last three years have been placed for me just right

where it is for me to see. I slept with Miriam once and when I dropped her

the next morning within 5 minutes I survived a very endangered car crash and

then afterwards the same very day a parking fine of 70$. The whole canberra

and wollongong is running around enjoying the show to put proofs into test.

This has become a social circus. I just think that if I come to Pakistan

right now it will relax my head for a little while. I can always come again

to study.

Your loving Son Moody


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